Swedish Massage

The Swedish massage is a gentler type of massage (full-body) that’s ideal for someone who has never had a massage and is sensitive. Getting a massage for the first time is like being ticklish on your feet and then someone just goes to town with a feather on them. Goochie goochie goo… ahhhHHHH!! The ticklish readers know what I’m talking about. All in all, you should use the Swedish massage if you’re new, sensitive, or just need a moment of relaxation.

Hot Stone Massage

Imagine being next to a volcano (hopefully inactive) in the tropics somewhere on a desolate island far away from civilization. Nice blue water with a gentle breeze while perfectly formed waves quietly crash on the shoreline. You’re walking through the nice white fluffy sand that’s running finely through your toes. When this passageway magically appears leading to a secret area with waterfalls and the smell of freshly bloomed roses and lavender. That’s when the ground starts to shake, trees are trembling while the water starts to ripple across the surface. Then! While it may seem like the volcano is about to blow, this rock figure starts to emerge from the ground. The dust flies around and settles peacefully as you begin to see the shape of what came from the ground.

As you’re able to look further you see this door inviting you. “Come in, paradise awaits.” says the doorkeeper. You think to yourself, “this is weird. Should I trust this guy? After all, I’m on vacation. (supposedly)” “Why not? Let’s do it.” You’ve just successfully convinced yourself to go into a secret, unexplainable but intriguing doorway. The doorkeeper leads you down this well light hallway where 2 stewards(esse) await. One instructs you to use the spa and prepare for the most sensational but relaxing massage ever known to humankind. You finish the spa and come back to lay face down on the massage bed where they prep you. They explain that this massage is to help alleviate stress, pain, and muscle tension while improving your blood flow and getting rid of the pain.

The 2 lay hot stones on your back carefully not to cause pain or burns. As you get close to telling them to stop, you start to realize that there isn’t any pain but yet there’s a relief of pain. Relaxation overwhelms you as you feel reborn. Well… what now? You’re able to go back to life with a new look on things. That’s what hot stone massage is all about. Heat therapy. Techniques used in a Swedish massage will be used.

Aromatherapy Massage

Now don’t get me wrong when I say this but Aromatherapy is something, we go through all day every day. Just reach over and smell your loved one. Walk in the kitchen when there’s a nice apple cinnamon pie being baked and then walk out. Your senses will overwhelm you with tasting notes of what’s to come after a nicely cooked dinner. If you’re wondering if smells will change your mood, they will. Plain and simple. Combining a lite pressure massage while incorporating essential oils like peppermint or lavender, really sets the mood to make you feel better and relax. Just imagine a stressful day where you see no way that you’re going to relax or change, the all of a sudden you read this article and find out that you can use essential oils to change it. Wow, thanks J. We appreciate you telling us. It’s helped me so much by reducing my stress and anxiety levels while boosting my mood. A real life-saver.

Deep Tissue Massage

When I think about the phrase “deep tissue massage” it always brings memories of some tv show or movie that I remember watching. Where the therapist just really digging in and putting all their weight into the massage. While the therapist is doing their thing, the customer is just screaming to all hell and back trying to deal with the immediate pain that’s being delivered from tightly trained hands of precision and strength.

Nonetheless, a deep tissue massage is a way to go if you need some real muscle relaxation. I’m not saying this is a cure for chronic muscle issues like soreness or tight muscle pain but It’ll help iron things out a bit.

I’ve seen some massage guns like the Theragun by therabody, the M3Pro by Opove, and Hypervolt by Hyperice being used for these deep tissue massages. Most of the time these guns are loud and strong like a jackhammer. Though they get the job done they’re loud and give you limited reach.

Sports Massage

I know. I know. Sports Massage… A sports massage is a new type of sport. Normally there are 2–3 teams. Each team has 2 members and they acquire points based on how many technical pains they can cause. In the end, the judges will determine the winner by the amount of agony caused.

Sounds great for couples’ therapy, right? You’d think so. I’m sure on draft day, there would be an overwhelming number of participants. You might think tryouts would be crowded with those people from the tv show Jerry but in fact, the participants would be those of quiet couples that barely say anything throughout their lives. They’d march in there with the biggest grin on their faces ready to pulverize each other. I’m sure we’d see tons of fouls and disqualifications. Contracts being voided as a reality show is derived from all the disputes and divorces that are sure to follow after opening day. I guess the real champions would be those of which of whom stay together without losing their teams due to arguments and breakups because the pressure was just too much. Heh… see what I did there. PRESSURE>>> Under pressure. Coming down on you…

Ok. Enough with the tv show sports idea. In general, Sports Massages, are an excellent option if you’re constantly using your muscles. Such as, when you’re playing any particular sport. Generally, if you’re looking to improve your flexibility and overall movement capability, then great. This is the way to go.

Bonus Round

Look, I know all this sounds great. I’d love to be on a beach right now somewhere in Cabo or something and having a nice relaxing massage from this list. Yea! It would be fantastic. Just sipping on a nice cocktail or straight up Hennessy Paradis Imperial Cognac. Let me tell you this. The Paradis Imperial Cognac is amazing but costly. Just imagine sitting in the most peacefully quiet place in the world. No one around to bother you or knock you out of the zen mode that this delightfully tasting cognac has brought upon you.

Continue to imagine that you’re still in this wonderful getaway space and then your massage begins. It’s so soothing and relieving with every touch. Your muscles start to loosen and become more flexible as you start to smile with relief. During the next 10 minutes, you start to feel a different massage style. Sounds start to come from behind and the speed of the massager’s hands intensifies like a Kung Fu Master showing you the art of flowing fist. Another 10 minutes go by and then the noise gets a bit higher but not more than a mouse peep. That’s when you start thinking to yourself, it’s not humanly possible for a person to move that fast. That’s when you start feeling this warming sensation as the subtle yet effective heat is transferred to your muscles. At that point, you should be curious as to what kind of magic one is doing.

So, you stop the massage, sit up and take off the headphones as you slowly remove the VR headset that you were wearing. You slowly turn around and look at the massager. As you squint your eyes and try to comprehend what’s going on. You look. It looks. You move. It moves. This image of a massager reveals itself slowly. You open your eyes as wide as possible only to realize that the massager is an actual massage gun. It starts swaying back and forth as if it’s trying to communicate with you through hypnosis. You go to ask if it has a name but then you see the name tag. The name seems familiar more and more as you start to sound it out. U… uuu… (then out of nowhere, you find yourself SHOUTING!) Urikar! At that moment, you feel as if everything is normal. You look at your hand only to realize that you were holding the massager performing all the moves for the massage gun. It was so effortless that you didn’t even know you were doing it. Then, just to find out that you’re in a simulation theatre as the rep speaks to you by correcting the name; “yes, it’s very similar due to the finding of this design and technologic advancement but it’s pronounced Urikar, but good try. Good for you.” The Rep goes on to explain that Urikar is the most advanced and affordable massager gun known today. An offer pops up on the screen and says, get $50 off when you pre-order today. Or did it? I don’t know. Maybe it was a dream, but it was a good try.

The Takeaway

Many look at a massage as a reward, a relaxation, and/or possibly a getaway. In reality, massage methods have more and more uses that are being discovered each day. Massaging muscle before, during, and after a workout can be super beneficial to your mobility and health. It may even allow you to do more exercises and be more efficient in training. Who knows? Anyways, we know that massages help. New trends show that a new product is taking over the markets. The reason being is that it works. The new massage guns are slowly making their way into the market and proving to be more useful than not.